


It's not my Fault

by Drowned_Ophelia



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 23:12:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7594141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drowned_Ophelia/pseuds/Drowned_Ophelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story follow the worst ending of Persona 4. Adachi has to deal with the consequences of his actions after Nanako's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's not my Fault

It was complete pandemonium at the hospital. Not only had the life of a little girl who’d been trying so hard to survive been lost, but Taro Namatame, the man who’d kidnapped her and now the prime suspect of two murders, had suddenly gone missing.

The entire building was thoroughly being searched by officers and any available medical staff. He couldn’t have gotten far; both his mental and physical state were in poor condition, and yet there was no sign of him.

Besides the Investigation Team, who’d decided it was best to take their leave, only Adachi knew what had really happened. In fact, he knew better than anyone. He’d manipulated the high schoolers into doing his dirty work for him without raising any suspicion; it was Kanji, after all, who’d held him up by the collar and forced the location of Namatame’s room out of him (the dirty punk). What they did after that had nothing to do with him.

Adachi was truly a free man now. With Namatame gone only the threatening letter he’d sent could direct any attention back to him. Now that Nanako was dead, and Namatame highly unlikely to ever be seen alive again, his chances were good that it would be forgotten and he could keep it hidden away.

There was nothing to worry about now. However, Adachi suddenly felt more exhausted than he had in a long time, ducking into one of the hospital’s public restrooms to take a breather. If another officer happened to come in he could just pretend he was checking the stalls. He had been instructed to search every inch of this floor after all.

Normally Adachi would have a good laugh when he was alone after successfully duping those kids over and over again. Even that so-called “Detective Prince” that his superiors had held in such high regard had been all too easy to trick. He had to admit he was a little scared of her, but never once had she seemed suspicious of him.

This time there was too much else that happened that wasn’t funny. Dojima was in awful shape and not getting any better since he kept getting up and roaming the hospital. Worst of all, Nanako hadn’t been able to pull through. Adachi saw this coming and had been lurking close by, waiting for his opportunity to give the IT that final push, but it was a joyless victory.

Adachi didn’t know why thinking about Nanako made him feel like he had a lump in his chest. It wasn’t his fault, after all. He couldn’t help that the IT was too slow in putting the pieces together so he couldn’t jump in sooner and confirm they were on the right track to point them towards Namatame. He had no control over the time it took for them to rescue her or that she wouldn’t quickly recover like everyone else had. No, he had absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

Now all that was left was to work towards closing this case and hoping people would move on and forget about it. It was a wild ride while it lasted, but now Adachi could use some peace and quiet that a hick town like this usually offered.

Adachi exited the bathroom and wandered around a bit more before he made his report that he found no clues to Namatame’s whereabouts. This was repeated by everyone else, leaving the majority wondering just how he’d managed to escape with zero witnesses. His guards had only been gone for a moment to escort Dojima back to his room.

Dojima… There was that lump again. Adachi slipped away and headed towards Dojima’s room, stopping when he saw a nurse exiting it. She’d been the one regularly taking care of Dojima, so she knew who Adachi was.

“I gave him some pills to make him sleep,” the nurse said, leaving out that she hadn’t been honest with the cop about what exactly they were. “They’re fast acting. I thought that it might best if he lays still for awhile.”

He should have been given something like that way earlier; it had been such a pain in the ass to try and keep an eye on Dojima with how often he wandered off. Usually it was just trips to his daughter’s room, but Adachi had been worried about him doing something stupid in the heat of the moment. Now… It was likely Dojima would be staying in his room.

Adachi was silently grateful he wouldn’t have to talk to Dojima so soon after Nanako’s passing, but it would still be awkward. He didn’t have any attachments to family members, nor had he ever dealt with a traumatic death, so he had no idea what he should do.   
  
The wake was excruciating to the point of being nearly unbearable for Adachi. There he was, as tidy as he’d ever been with his hair properly combed, tie straight, and trying hard not to go into his usual slouch, but fighting the urge to run out of the room.

He couldn’t look directly at Nanako. Even though he had nothing to do with what happened to her he kept his gaze elsewhere, unable to keep focused on where he was and accept that she was really dead. He couldn’t say goodbye to her.

Recently he’d picked up a cheap book on some amateur magic tricks. Only Nanako had ever reacted enthusiastically to his little illusions, cheering and asking him to do them over and over again. He thought he’d learn a few ones since she’d seen all he knew so many times, but… He never did get to show her the rather impressive card trick he’d mastered. And now he never would.

He balled his hands into fists. This hurt so much. Nanako seemed like she was incapable of being anything but sweet and kind; she should have never been dragged into this TV nonsense. He tried to keep telling himself that Namatame had paid for what he’d done, that her death wasn’t going unpunished, but it did nothing to help.

“Adachi-san.” Yu said his name quietly. He’d been standing quietly beside him for awhile now, wondering when would be a good time to speak with him. “I know it’s asking a lot, but will you look after my uncle after I go home?”

Adachi glanced over at Dojima, who was sitting stoically nearby Nanako. He seemed to be holding up well; a guy like him who’s already been through so much would probably manage fine on his own. Still, Adachi found himself agreeing to. What was one more lie?

“Thank you.” The gratitude in Yu’s voice nearly made Adachi flinch. “I’ll give you my phone number. If something happens, please call me. Or, even if you just need someone to talk to. I know this had been hard on you too.”

Adachi really couldn’t wait for Yu to return to the city and hopefully away from him forever. Having some annoying high school kid, a boy nonetheless, dote over him like he was some stray kitten was really getting old.

He accepted Yu’s information, but had no intention of ever calling him.

Dojima still had plenty of recovery left before he’d be allowed to leave the hospital for more than a few days at most. Adachi could use work as an excuse not to come see him. It was far too difficult to be alone in the same room together. It was selfish, but Adachi hoped that, should Dojima choose to come back to work, things could just carry on like before.

Losing a wife and daughter… No matter how much he tried Adachi couldn’t imagine how painful that must be, trying not to dwell on it.

After Yu left home for the city it really hit Dojima that he was completely alone. He’d encouraged his nephew to come visit anytime, but who knew when that would be. No loving wife. No energetic daughter. No concerned nephew. Absolutely no one. He didn’t even need to try and find where Namatame had run off too since he’d suddenly turned up dead. What exactly happened to him was a mystery, but what did it matter?  
  
Due to his injuries he’d been only working here there as he started to feel better, but now Dojima wanted to be back at it just as much as he’d ever been. The problem was the times when he couldn’t be at the station or outside; every time he stepped back into the house he was reminded there was no “Welcome home!” waiting for him.

It got to be too much on his days off. Those days he would drink as much as he could to numb the pain, and soon it began to show. Dojima looked like he’d aged ten years from this whole ordeal. The light was gone from his eyes and his expression looked vacant, unable to muster one of his kind, reassuring smiles or his intimidating glares if he were to get upset.

Suddenly Adachi felt as though their roles had been reversed. Here he was quietly telling Dojima to find a mirror to fix his hair, straightening Dojima’s tie for him, or pointing out a coffee stain on his shirt that needed to be washed. Dojima was still competent with his work, but his personal care had taken an all time low.

Maybe this would just be temporary, but Adachi remembered that stupid promise he made to Yu. It wasn’t like he had a lot going anymore… Putting a little effort into helping Dojima move forward wouldn’t hurt.

To try and snap him out of it Adachi tried to blatantly mess up in front of Dojima to at least get a scolding. However, no matter how illegible his handwriting was, no matter how much he slacked off, and even if he spilled coffee on important documents the most he could get out of his boss was a weary sigh.

At one point Adachi actually got his hopes up that Dojima was going to give him a bop on the head, but it turned out he’d come over to help him pick up the pile of papers that had scattered all over after he dropped them.

“I’m really sorry, sir,” Adachi apologized. “I’ve been clumsy all day.”

“Accidents happen,” was all Dojima would say before handing him the stack he collected.

“U-um… After work would you want to have a few beers?”

It was awful having to work with Dojima acting like this. Adachi doubted he’d be much better in a different setting, but what he had been doing clearly wasn’t working and his transfer requests kept getting denied. He had to keep trying in hopes some normalcy could return. He’d been so desperate he’d even called Yu the other day and told him it would help temporary put Dojima’s mind in a happier place if he’d start calling and talking to him frequently.

He didn’t expect Dojima to agree. There was a long pause as Dojima seemed to be mulling it over, but eventually got an “alright”. He didn’t want to go out to a bar, and he didn’t want go home, so Adachi’s place it was.

  
It was awkward to say the least. The two men mostly sat in silence on Adachi’s couch with a six pack in front of them. It was Adachi, of course, who was usually the chatterbox, but now he was at a complete loss for words. He had nothing of real substance to talking about, Dojima only giving him a “Mm” every once in awhile as a response.

Adachi was certain that night was a complete and total failure, so Dojima being the one to ask him if he could come over later that week came as a complete surprise, even more so when started the coversation. It was a bit irritating it was just about how Yu was doing back in the city, but Adachi played along and encouraged Dojima to keep talking.

Soon their nightly get-togethers were regular events, Dojima at last starting to look leaps and bounds better. He occasionally smiled now, and Adachi managed to get a laugh out of him, when shared a recent mishap of dealing with a spider when Dojima noticed a hole in the wall.

That is, until one night, when they’d left the TV on even after they’d finished the takeout food they ordered. Suddenly an all too familiar commercial began:

“At Junes everyday is customer appreciation day. Come see for yourself and get in touch with our products!”

Dojima stopped mid-sentence as his attention was immediately brought to the TV. Adachi gasped and frantical began looking for the remote. It had been right by him just a moment ago! Did it fall on the floor? Was he sitting on it? Did it-

It was too late; the entire commercial played, along with the jingle.

“Everyday’s great at your Junes!”

_Everyday’s great at your Junes!_

Just like that Dojima could hear Nanako’s cheerful voice singing along. He could see her sitting right beside him, a big smile her on her face. He’d tried so hard not to think about her, but there she was, just like she would have been after his shift was over if she weren’t…

“Sir?” Adachi’s concerned voice brought Dojima out of it. He’d been sitting there completely still, his eyes glazed over.

Once again Dojima was forced to face his reality. “That warning letter made it clear Namatame would target someone close to Yu.” His voice was shaky. “Still I… I never thought Nanako… I just left her at home, all alone…”

A single tear rolled down Dojima’s cheek, but it was followed in succession by several more. He couldn’t keep it all bottled up anymore, covering his face with his hands. Until now he’d never felt like crying. It was either anger or emptiness, but now it was like those tears had been building and building over these long months and broken through a dam.

Unable to stop, Dojima excused him out of the living room to deal with it in private. He didn’t want Adachi to see him like this.

“…Shit…” Adachi sighed, looking down at the floor. All that progress, up in smoke.

Dojima would never know the truth, that he had actually placed that warning letter in the mail box. If not for that Dojima wouldn’t have finally lost his temper about Yu sticking his nose where it didn’t belong and give Namatame the perfect opportunity to spirit away Nanako.

But it wasn’t his fault.

No way could Adachi have predicted that Nanako would happen to be picked for a little interview, that it would be of enough interest to make someone leak her identity, and that she’d wind up on the Midnight Channel. It was as much of a shock to him as everyone else.

All he could do was remind himself once again that it was by coincidence that this ended up being the tragic climax. He was so absorbed in convincing himself of this Adachi failed to notice just how long Dojima had been gone until the news came on and the time was announced.

Adachi started to get up, but Dojima finally returned. His tears had stopped, but his red and puffy eyes made it obvious it had been no easy feat to get them under control.

“I’m going to head home,” Dojima said.

“Are you alright, sir?” Adachi asked, getting up and walking over to see him out.  
  
“Yeah.” Dojima managed a weak smile, then placing his hand on Adachi’s shoulder. “Hey, thanks for everything. I know what you’ve been trying to do.”

“D-don’t mention it…” Suddenly Adachi couldn’t look his boss in the eye. “Are you sure you can make it home?”

Dojima nodded. “Goodnight.”

“See you tomorrow.”

  
The next day Adachi looked up at the clock and saw that Dojima was five minutes late. After the rough night he’d had it shouldn’t have surprised Adachi, but coming into work tardy had yet to be an occurrence, even on one of Dojima’s “off” days.  
  
Five more minutes passed… Then ten… Other people were beginning to notice his absence as well. Adachi volunteered to call Dojima’s cell phone when his home phone yielded no results, getting his voicemail immediately.

Dojima’s entire shift came and went without a peep from him. He did have the day off tomorrow, so maybe he got the days mixed up? Even if that were the case, where would he have gone? No… He had to have drank way too much after getting back home and slept the day away. Adachi was confident that was it. Even so, he assured everyone he’d check up on Dojima tomorrow. Chances were he would snap out of his stupor before then and call; Adachi could just imagine him apologizing profusely.

  
Adachi hesitated on the steps to the front door of the Dojima residence. Not since before Nanako died had he been anywhere near this place; he couldn’t. He remembered how lively and fun his time spent in this home with people who made him feel like he was finally part of a family had been.  
  
To enter it now and face the cruel reality he’d never be able to experience that again was too much. His right arm dangled at his side, unable to ring the doorbell. He had to check on Dojima, see if he’d gotten too sick to call in or was hurt. With his hand shaking Adachi managed to press it. After getting no response, he tried again.

“Dojima-san!” he called as he knocked.

Still nothing.

Leaving wasn’t an option when the car was right there in the driveway. It was understandable that Dojima was continuing to behave strangely as he was still coming to terms with all that had happened, but never would he miss work and not bother to call in. There used to be a spare key under a nearby rock. Adachi checked and saw that it was still there, using it to open the door.

Adachi pushed the door open and lingered in the entryway. “Sir?” he tried again desperately, not wanting to go inside, expecting he’d hear Dojima’s footsteps at any moment.

Of course he wasn’t that lucky. He had to go in. The inside was just as it had always been, albeit a bit dustier. The kitchen had dirty dishes piled up, but at least that mean Dojima was eating. Adachi noticed he’d been losing weight, but it was OK as long as he wasn’t completely neglecting himself. The house could be tidied up easily; he’d just make sure Dojima was alright first and then he’d help out a little.

What a pain… Turning into a nanny for his older boss was never something he’d seen coming. Dojima had done a lot to help him adjust to living here, but Adachi wasn’t the sort of guy who liked repaying those sorts of things. Even now he wasn’t sure if he was grateful or annoyed by Dojima’s kindness.

Dojima was nowhere on the main floor so Adachi headed up the stairs. Obvioulsy Dojima would be stuck in bed it he were ill, so that was the first room he checked. The bed was empty and unmade, but otherwise nothing else of note.

Adachi stuck his head into what had obviously been Yu’s room. Dojima really had been serious about wanting his nephew to start visiting regularly, leaving everything just as it was so Yu would feel right at home the next time he was here.

So that left…

As Adachi neared Nanako’s room that’s when he could start to smell something odd. It was like a faint, sickly sweet scent and… Something musty? Rust? He stopped dead in his tracks for a moment, his eyes widening as he looked at the close door to Nanako’s room. No… No it couldn’t be!

The intensity of the smell made Adachi’s eyes water as he coughed and turned the knob, letting the door swing open, but it was the sight that made him scream. Blood, tissue, and brain matter splattered the walls from the cop who laid dead in his daughter’s bed, the gun still in his hand.

However, it wasn’t just any gun. Even with black dots invading his vision and feeling woozy Adachi recognized it clear as day: It was one of the toy guns he’d specially modified to fire real bullets. This was what Dojima had been doing when he’d been gone so long in his home? Picking this up? Adachi fell to his knees, all of his strength gone.

“It’s… It’s not my fault…” Adachi’s voice trembled as his placed his palms on the floor. He felt like he was going to be sick, but it stopped at that. He wouldn’t be vomiting this time.

Dojima seemed like he was fine when he left his house. Sure he’d cried, but anyone would have if they were in his position. Never had Adachi ever gotten the impression he would commit suicide.

That stupid commercial… He’d tried to turn it off. He’d found the remote between the couch cushions; it had slipped down without either of them noticing. He assumed Dojima was just in the bathroom, not looking around his house. He’d been tinkering with that gun and left it out in a spare room, not thinking anything of it. Dojima must have noticed it as he passed by…

Adachi let out a cry and pounded the floor with his fist. This wasn’t fair! Dojima was all he had in this stupid, awful, hick town. He was the only one who’d been nice to him and gotten the other officers to stop picking him when he was slow at adjusting.

He’d never asked for that power he got upon coming here; he never even figured out how it had happened. That Midnight Channel rumor tricked him into thinking he’d at least finally get the girl of his dreams, but that had turned out to be a crock of shit. Not even that little high school whore would show him any attention.

It should have stopped there, but then Namatame had to make that phone call, and he just happened to pick it up…

He’d been denying it all this time, but seeing the downward spiral after every one of his actions, having Dojima dead in front of him… Adachi couldn’t lie to himself any longer.

“It.. It was me!” Adachi staggered to his feet, rushing over to Dojima’s side. “I did it! I killed Yamano and Saki! I fooled Namatame into thinking he could save people! I sent those letters!” he screamed at the corpse. “Nanako didn’t die because of you!”

If only he’d known he would confessed right then and there. Adachi would have gladly stayed put and let Dojima do whatever he wanted, even if he killed him. He’d much rather be dead then be stuck with this.

Adachi tore at his hair. He’d really give anything at this moment to be able to go back. He had no idea how to stop himself from getting his powers, but he certainly didn’t have to use them. Even if it meant he would have been bored to tears that would have been OK. Really, he’d have spent more time at the Dojima household without needing to pretend to investigate murders and kidnappings.

At the time he didn’t realize it, but Adachi had genuinely enjoyed himself. The bonds he developed with Dojima, Nanako, and even Yu were genuine. He would have always had a family here, a home where he’d be liked and appreciated.

Now everything was gone.

“It’s all my fault…”

Adachi managed to pry the gun out of Dojima’s grasp. Of course… He’d only taken the one bullet. It was all he needed. There wouldn’t be a second body found in this room.

Was this his punishment? To not be able to take the easy way out and live with what he’d done? Just when he thought his life couldn’t get any worse…

Now he was laughing. It was an ugly, hysterical laughter that brought tears to his eyes. Looks like the joke was on him now. In the end, he would be the one suffering more than anyone. All alone with his guilt.


End file.
